Better Off Alone

Do you ever decide to go out on a limb, try to make new friends, allow yourself to be completely open with someone, only to be pushed away? It's not even something you can control. It wasn't intentional. It just didn't work out like you had hoped. Why was it so easy to make friends… Continue reading Better Off Alone

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Calm After the Storm

You know that feeling after you've just had a really good cry? After you've calmed down? Like everything is fresh.  You feel lighter. I always have an almost hollow feeling in my chest.  This is a good description of how the last couple days have been for me.  I look back through the last 2… Continue reading Calm After the Storm

Flashbacks and Intrusive Thoughts

This time of year is always hard for me.  Maybe I have mentioned this in previous posts, but the last week seems like it has been especially difficult!  It's been 3 years since I went through 3 months of hell.  I don't always consciously think about it, but it's always lingering in the back of… Continue reading Flashbacks and Intrusive Thoughts

Today, I’m not strong enough

What do you write when your mind is going a million miles an hour? My emotions have been completely out of control all week, and showing no sign of slowing down.  I only worked 4 days this week because I had some pre-op appointments on Wednesday that lasted the entire day.  I was hoping that… Continue reading Today, I’m not strong enough

Another Day

It seems it is becoming a weekly thing that I have to decompress after getting home from small group every Monday night.  Don't get me wrong.  I love going. It's just a stretch for me. I feel refreshed, yet mentally exhausted at the same time.  I think the word I'm looking for is "exposed".  I… Continue reading Another Day

God Made Us All Unique

I've been playing on my worship team a lot lately.  Normally people at my church are only scheduled once a month to prevent them from getting burned out, but I've either played the keys or sang 5 times in the last 2 months, and I love it!! I am exhausted! But I couldn't be happier!… Continue reading God Made Us All Unique

Befriending Death

This time of year is always the hardest for me.  Three years ago, the last 4 months I worked in EMS, were some of the hardest days I've yet to encounter.  Every year since, when the weather starts to get a little warmer, the birds start chirping again, and everything is just starting to come… Continue reading Befriending Death